I’ve decided to use this blog title to explain what I feel on this very day. I honestly had a bad day. Literally the worse-case scenario I’m pretty sure no one has stepped foot in. Imagine, yesterday was my mother’s birthday and she expected it to be a peaceful day for her, but then one of my band mates threw a verbal fit at her for the fight that we had. She didn’t need to be a part of it, and besides he owes me a HELL lot of money for the production of the music we’re going to do together.
Secondly, I had a conversation with a friend who wanted to involve me in a newsletter. She asked for my new number, and by that time I texted her pretending to flirt with her. It was a joke and I thought she already knew it was me, but she thought it was somebody else and got upset thinking that the random person texting her was an asshole trying to hit on her. When I said it was me, instead of laughing she threw a tantrum. I’ve been dealing with not only one, but TWO people throwing fits at me.
Third, I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to my new country. I was involved in a job in the European embassy where I had to take care of kids, but then it turned out that the job I had was a total scam. I was also conned and have been ripped off financially by a lot of people who I need to work with, while they need the money to support them. In terms of my music, it’s also hard to find a community where I’m actually being supported and where I can maintain that excitement and life-giving glow. It seems like everybody here is very pessimistic about people doing music in the future and having so much passion for it.
The great thing is, I got accepted at a school in Brisbane. I’m starting next year, and so this year I’m going to be learning Indonesian dances, doing more projects with sincere people, and actually trying to be involved in more communities who are willing to accept me as who I am and that I can help to give love in return. It’s hard because I often feel that people are looking down upon me or not giving me enough room to be creative. Being creative and insightful is not a turn-on in Indonesia.
I love writing, I love playing music, and I really love to share my notions with other people and learn new things. Somebody please help me! GET ME OUT OF HERE!